The Bitterroot

by Everything in Pen

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03:23
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03:27
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02:43

credits

released December 11, 2011

All songs by Elizabeth Hubbard

Elizabeth Hubbard: vocals, guitar
Alexi Glickman: guitar, bass, keys, uke, vocals, arrangements
Jeremy Black: drums

Producer: Alexi Glickman
Engineer: Jeremy Black
Recorded at Coyote Hearing Studio, Oakland

Album Art: Patrick Weaver
Photos: Skip Hubbard

Thanks to
alexi, jeremy, vernon, patrick,
vicki, brian, sarah, melanie,
sunday brew, kickstarter backers,
the hubbard archambault family,
big star,
anita hill, terry gross, wendell berry, dave eggers,
public libraries and the magic inside them

license

all rights reserved

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about

Everything in Pen San Francisco

Combining the pop sensibility of Big Star and narrative observations of Jonathan Richman and Aimee Mann, Everything in Pen’s songs cover many topics---war criminals, sexism, and Dave Eggers--through her unique lens as an obsessive reader. She sings the things you won’t say aloud, of the foolishness, the hopefulness and the almost unbearable humanness of us all. ... more

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Track Name: Kappa Sweetheart
Let’s just remember
That I did not want to come here
You invited me
You begged me to go
And now the crowd’s in silence
Watching your guitar god
But he’s just a balding man
It’s just a show
It’s so pretentious so familiar
It’s so thoughtless it’s so boring
It’s exactly like you

I drink club soda
Cause we’re hoping to get pregnant.
But you’re tossing back shots
Like you drink for two
And then you’re in the alley
Smoking with your buddy
Getting high again
You said you no longer do
I’m just your designated driver
You’re my sperm bank
Though I don’t think
You’ll be good for that tonight.

And I’ve been nothing here but kind and patient
I said that I’d always be true
But I’ve been sitting by these empty bar stools
I see this means nothing to you

This ring is your trophy
I’ll keep it sparkly and polished
My head’s the only place where I am ever honest
And I hate it there

At our tenth reunion
I ran into all the men that I discarded
When I said yes to you
What happened to our Kappa Sweetheart
Social chairman
Tell me all about it
Come to my room
They’re all lawyers, neurosurgeons
They’re all someone
Does my someone
Even know where I have gone
Track Name: Left It In Peoria
You know you know
I always wanted for more
You know how I left it in Peoria
You know when you first met me
That I would not be easy

You know you know
The fight is not the same thing
Take the problem give it a name
When I wake tomorrow
Will I still feel crazy?

What if all these fantasies were not mine alone
What if they were part of something new?

Don’t you worry about me
That was never my invention
We should forget it
We could just let it be the drift of our history
You don’t worry about me
That was never my intention
But I won’t wreck it
I won’t let it change what we wanna do anyway

You know you know
I always wanted for more
You know how I left it in Peoria
You know when you first read me
That I was on to something

You know you’re not a revolutionary
You know you know maybe I could
Be someone to someone
I could make somebody different
Track Name: The Midway
I’m thinking of shutting this whole thing down
I see the midway’s closing
I wasn’t having much fun anyhow
I’m thinking of shutting this whole thing down
Can’t see the ridgeline approaching
I wasn’t having much fun anyhow

What if I told you
That I don’t remember anything you’ve said
And what if you notice
I have been making the same mistakes
Would you still believe in me as I am

Which one of these silences
Is the one you will not forgive
When can we recognize
There will be no heroes here
Would you still believe in me as I am

Cause I’m thinking of shutting this whole thing down
I see the midway’s closing
I wasn’t having much fun anyhow
I’m thinking of shutting this whole thing down
Can’t see the ridgeline approaching
I wasn’t having much fun anyhow

What if I told you that it is exactly as it appears
They’ll take away the Tilt-a-Whirl
This is just a muddy field
Would you still believe in me as I am
Track Name: McNamara
Being sorry is not the issue
Being sorry won’t correct a wrong
You must get up every morning
Calculate the evil you have done
See if it’s worth the outcome

They don’t want to see the numbers
They just want to act as if they have
Call us one thing when we’re winning
What will you call me if I lose instead
Can you believe I listened

You don’t understand
You might be right
But you’re still short-sighted
Even if it wasn’t worth the fight
We would do it all again
You don’t understand
It wasn’t a choice I was making
You’ve no idea what we were facing
You don’t know what’s involved

No man could be all that bad
Who loves the mountains like you do
No man could be all that bad
Who loves the mountains like you
Like you

And if reason has its limits
If rationality is not enough
In the end I guess I’d rather
Be damned for all the things I don’t
In the crowding out of silence
Track Name: The Bitterroot
If you find your way to central Idaho
I am not running from
If it’s the only thing I know
Away from the heartland
I am not missing anyone

Near the Bitterroot, The River of No Return
Out by the rafting launch
Lies the old horse ranch
Where we’re getting younger
We are not nearly done
We’ve got a satellite
If there’s anything I need to learn

And tell the mailman
To fly these cookies to the neighbors
And say how are you
Say how are you
You should know
I am not missing anyone

And the mailbox here
It is just for show
It cannot hold all that we transport
Another rule we have to follow
It’s filled with tie-downs
In case the wind should blow
In case the storm kicks up
In case you can’t get home

So take the seedlings that I sent you
And start them in the sunniest room
With every catalog
With every cake mix landing
With every dog-eared book
Read halfway through

And the word’s come down
It’s time to tighten up
What we’ve established here
It won’t account for much
Mr. John E Potter
I know you’ve got it wrong
Cause this is the only place
Where I’ve ever grown to love

And tell the mailman
To fly these cookies to the neighbors
And say how are you
Say how are you
You should know
I am not missing anyone
Track Name: Smile Like You Like It
And on the radio we listen to Anita Hill
It’s Washington and it’s ok
To listen while you’re working
This phone never rings
Though I am ripe for answering
The coffee maker’s dripping
Telling me it’s more productive

When I’m opening the mail for you
I will date stamp everything
When I’m typing all your cases for you
I’ll make sure to smile like I like it

Was not so long ago
I was a semiotic scholar
Of Kristeva, Irigiray
Beware of nouns
They’re phallocentric
I’ll trade in all of this
For $7 something, more or less
Somewhere above the minimum
Is my belief I’m independent

You take me out to lunch
And ask if I am learning much
I’ve learned there’s nothing I can wear
That you won’t try to look down
I guess I’m too naïve
I thought men with advanced degrees
Would not resort to tricks like these
Especially when they’re lawyers

When I’m opening the mail for you
I will date stamp everything
When I’m picking up your pencils for you
I’ll make sure to smile like you like it

The testimony’s wrapping up
I sit here reading Atlas Shrugged
You say it’s so refreshing
That you’re willing to improve yourself
I see you’re heading back to school
I hope it isn’t very soon
You won’t have to worry
That’s the perfect place to find a husband

And on the radio we listen to Anita Hill
The bravest woman I won’t know
Giving up her $7.50
Track Name: Homily
In this row on the right
I’m sure I’ve been here before
Check the wood
Are my initials carved here somewhere
Sit kneel stand sit kneel stand
Mouth the words you don’t know
Prayers are tumbling out
Forgotten not forgotten
And then the priest
He stands up for the homily
What would he say
On this glorious glorious day

Merry Christmas
I wish you well
Merry Christmas
You’re burning in hell
You’re a sinner
You’re no one
In the name of the Father and Son

And there’s a culture of sin
That your children swim in
And the devil
His fishhooks are everywhere
He wants to get you to say
Being gay is ok
And the other religions
They could be true
We all know
That living is sometimes hard
But if you go and kill yourself
Well then the devil’s won

Don’t forget
Mary was pure and ever virgin
She’s not like you not like you
And she may intercede when you pray
It won’t mean that she approves
Track Name: It's Just Dinner
And if this silence gets any longer
I think I might just up and disappear
She says she’s pleased to meet me
But her actions are far less clear

We’ll go out and it’s not long till I remember
Just how young and stupid we used to be
You seem conflicted
Much more than you should be
And I have never heard her name
So why does she know so much about me
Tell her

Don’t you worry
I’m not trying to take your husband
It’s just dinner
It’s just a visit
It’s a glass of wine
You’ve heard old stories
They’re probably all true
But after dessert we’ll split the bill
And he comes back home to you

But I can’t wait for you to get this
Cause sometimes
Everybody needs their oldest friend
And I don’t think you need to run so scared
Honey did he tell you
My integrity is what he loves me for
Track Name: Dave Eggers
All my life I’ve wanted to be Dave Eggers
But that can’t be true cause we’re the same age
But if my life began when I was 21
I would’ve always wanted to be like him
Do you remember Might magazine
Cause I read every issue
Even though they didn’t publish on a regular schedule
Not everybody thought it was so funny
But I always did

All my life I’ve wanted to be Dave Eggers
Or at least be able to write like him
Cause he does stuff with words that no one else is doing
At least nobody that I’ve read
And if I were ever stranded on a desert island
And I had three books with me
I don’t think that this will happen
Two of those books would be by Dave Eggers
And the third by someone else

All my life I’ve wanted to write like Dave Eggers
But he already does
So if I got my wish it would only be confusing
Cause then there would be two of us
And you wouldn’t know who you were reading
I hope you are not one of those
Who buys his books and sticks them on a shelf
Cause you think that it might seem impressive
Someone will notice
Think you’re cool and into social justice
No one is impressed

I guess I just want to feel like what I feel like
When I read anything that he’s done
Things are more beautiful
More funny more scary
More simple than I thought they were
And the possible gets larger
Like the one that’s written from a dog
And he is running he is jumping
He does not know if he will make it
Maybe I could do something that no one ever has
And maybe this is it

Then again he’s probably friends with musicians
Cause everyone knows one or two
If you hang out with a songwriter for very long
One of those songs is about you
Even if it’s just a little
And this isn’t what I had intended
It sounded better in my head
But I’m drifting off on all these tangents
Let’s get back to the basics of this relationship
You write
I will read

Dave Eggers
I just want you to write more
Dave Eggers
Won’t you please write more
Dave Eggers
I just want you to write more
And more and more and more
Dave Eggers
Track Name: Love Song
So I promise I will honor and obey you
And I’ll do everything you say to
I’ll color in your lines
I’ll live how you’ve defined me

And I swear this time
I won’t take you for granted
I see that everything I bought
You would have lent me
We wasted all these years
I forgot that you were here

Library Card
You’re a miracle to me
You’re a store that has everything
And everything is free
And I don’t know just exactly why I’d gone
But I’m here

Now it can be like when I first met you
Remember all the weekends
We would spend together
I knew your place by heart
You loved me at the start

But time went on
I just got more demanding
And I took and took
Till you got tired of asking
If I would ever be on time
Or return what was not mine

Library Card
You’re a miracle to me
You’re a store that has everything
And everything is free
And I don’t know why I stayed away so long
But I’m here

Library Card
You’re a miracle to me

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